I don't deserve happiness
We always doubt ourselves, do we deserve to feel happy? Do we have the credential to be loved and respected?
Some of us might not feel how the others feel. We did mistakes, we repeated the wrongdoings and sometimes we forgot with what we have done. It such a shame and on the other day we hate to wake up in the morning to face the world. We hard to see people,engaged and involved, as the past keep haunting us. And, as the time goes by, and that things repetitively happens, we felt sad and start to think that we don't deserve happiness.
I was once felt that kind of feeling in my life. The thinking of me as 'undeserved', 'unwanted' and a troublemaker kept me away from the society. I barely felt excited to see old friends unless she is good friend of mine, I hate family gathering and hate to have a lunch sessions with someone that I argued at the office.
This kind of withdrawal makes me less confidence and directly affect my life growth. I have no confidence to get new man, to socialize even to hang out mamaks with my peeps. Slowly, people will accept that I am no longer a cool person, I am too sensitive and not someone that liable.
This thing grew for years in me until one day I realize that yes, I am inexcusable and can't be trusted but despite, I still deserve to be happy and the most important note is I am the person that responsible on my own happiness. No one can define you, no one can take charge on.
Always says to yourself "Hey, maybe you did wrong, but still you can repent and be better. Move on and don't take it too much until it affects you. Upgrade yourself and you deserve happiness"
